The London bus jokes just write themselves. Taty Castellanos did everything he could to score a goal during West Ham United’s FA Cup exit at the hands of Leeds, but then two came along in the space of 99 seconds five days later.

Only two players in recorded history – Sadio Mane for Southampton in 2015 and Gabriel Martinelli at Arsenal – have scored a quicker brace in the competition. West Ham United were making hard work of rock-bottom Wolves, until Taty Castellanos doubled the advantage in the 66th minute and then popped up again in the 68th.

Taty on a Premier League podium! 🥉 🇦🇷

Is he justifying his £27m price-tag now?

That rapid-fire brace took the January signing onto five goals for the Hammers. More than his predecessor Niclas Fullkrug managed, in 13 fewer appearances.

Taty Castellanos is firing West Ham United to safety

As clarified by Fabrizio Romano, Fullkrug will return to West Ham this summer after finding the net only once on loan at AC Milan. In fact, since moving to England from Borussia Dortmund for an eye-watering £27 million in the summer of 2024, the big German has scored four times in 35 games.

Three of those came in 29 appearances for his parent club. Castellanos, in contrast, has five in 16 games.

Castellanos, with five, is shaping up to be one of their more successful striking acquisitions, even if the enigmatic, occasionally erratic Argentine feels destined to remain a rough diamond who will never sparkle as he really should.

Castellanos overtakes Gianluca Scamacca as well as Niclas Fullkrug

Castellanos’ tally of four Premier League goals sees him overtake Gianluca Scamacca, as well as Fullkrug. He is level with Danny Ings, despite playing 12 league matches compared to the veteran’s 52 in a West Ham shirt.

So although he has his critics, although that £27 million price-tag still seems excessive, his Wolves heroics will have West Ham fans sharing Mateus Fernandes’ stance. Castellanos is not the perfect centre-forward but his contribution to West Ham’s escape from the bottom three should not be underestimated.

Where will West Ham finish this season? 📈 And who will be relegated? ⬇️

Mind the gap, Tottenham Hotspur 😂

“Taty always works very hard for us. He’s important for us, and I think he really deserved to score twice,” said Fernandes, speaking after captain Jarrod Bowen hailed Castellanos for providing a ‘platform’ for his attacking teammates to build upon.

“It’s not been easy for him or Pablo, coming to England to play in the Premier League. I felt the same when I first moved [to Southampton from Sporting Lisbon], so it’s our job to help make things easy for them.

“I speak Portuguese and Spanish, and the important thing is they are happy, which I think you can see on the pitch.

“The whole team is together, and we will keep fighting to get ready for the next game, which we’re looking forward to now.”

Lest we forget, West Ham spent a combined £70 million on Fullkrug, Scamacca and Ings with much weaker returns for their investment.