Crysencio Summerville and Jarrod Bowen may have found their scoring boots in recent times, but the West Ham United duo are still a long way off matching Callum Wilson’s goals per minute record in the Premier League.

The veteran poacher is usually more of an impact sub these days – his most recent strike came off the bench away at Tottenham in January, for instance – but Callum Wilson’s remarkable nose for goal is still capable of sniffing out chances other centre-forwards could not even dream of smelling.

If a great white shark can smell blood from a mile away, when Wilson can smell a half-chance in the most packed of penalty areas.

Is this just a purple patch or is Summerville really one of the best forwards in the Premier League? 🤔

Summerville is now coming in to his own, as is Matty Fernandes. They seem to have developed an understanding since there’s been no Paqueta. Right now, we need Summerville and Fernandes to keep on doing what they do and we’ll make a good fist of staying up ⚒️

Watched him at leeds several time while living there he was best player by miles i that side nuno has to let him wander like he did in leeds side then you will see what great player he is

I don’t know that he can. In my eyes he’s perfect now in all that he does.

His five Premier League goals for West Ham United have come in just nine starts. Across the whole of the division, only 14 players have a better goals-per-minute record than his.

There are no prizes for guessing who sits atop that particular leaderboard; Erling Haaland glowering down on his subjects from the Targaryen’s iron throne. Igor Thiago, Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Hugo Ekitike are firmly entrenched in the top ten, alongside a couple of relatively seldom-seen supersubs; Federico Chiesa, Lukas Nmecha and Charalampos Kostoulas.

Sitting on the right-hand side of Haaland, though, is a striker Nuno Espirito Santo’s new-look defensive pairing of Axel Disasi and Konstantinos Mavropanos will have to keep a very close eye on this weekend.

Eli Junior Kroupi was a West Ham target. Very nearly a West Ham player.

According to Peter O’Rourke, West Ham agreed a £35 million fee with FC Lorient. Curse that dreaded ‘multi-club model’. A model which ensured that, despite their best efforts, Saturday’s opponents AFC Bournemouth held not only an ace up their sleeve, but an entire royal flush.

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Bournemouth snatched Eli Junior Kroupi from under West Ham United’s nose

Bournemouth have a partnership with Lorient through American billionaire Bill Foley.

Cherries head coach Andoni Iraola admitted that multi-club relationship was how Kroupi was signed, snatched from under the noses of West Ham. A cautious Iraola then expressed his ‘hope’ that the teenager would develop into a Premier League marksman worthy of the transfer fee.

He needn’t have worried.

Because, with a staggering eight goals from 11 starts, Kroupi heads to the London Stadium this weekend having made very light work of a daunting transition from the French second-tier to the English top-flight.

Had the aforementioned Foley not taken a minority share in Lorient, Kroupi might have been wearing claret and blue instead of red and black ahead of Saturday’s 5.30pm kick-off.

Another goal, his ninth in the Premier League, would therefore see Bournemouth season those West Ham wounds with enough salt to keep McDonalds in fresh fries for the month.

Kroupi has a better Premier League record than Thierry Henry and Harry Kane

Kroupi averages a goal every 110 minutes. Extrapolate that across the competition’s history, and the 19-year-old currently boasts a better record than Thierry Henry, Harry Kane, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Alan Shearer and more.

Only Haaland and Sergio Aguero possess a superior goals-per-minute tally. And, yes, Kroupi would be very hard pushed maintaining his spot on the podium. West Ham can knock him down a place or two, and they would take a lot of pleasure in doing just that given the way Bournemouth ripped him from their clutches 12 months ago.

Could Eli Junior Kroupi be West Ham’s biggest ever ‘one that got away’?

The Hammers agreed a £35m fee for him…

But as so many top-flight sides have found out this season – Kroupi’s latest goal was a stunning, dipping volley away to Wolves – he needs only a glimpse of net to produce something very unexpected out of extremely little.

“When you are 19 with eight goals, it is incredible,” Iraola said after his finishing masterclass at Molineux. “Because he doesn’t start every game.

“He gives us quality on the ball, which is always important. [And when] we can put him in that position around the box, he can score goals.”

A warning not only to Disasi and Mavropanos – although Nuno can bring Jean-Clair Todibo back from suspension – but also for Mads Hermansen, and whoever starts in defensive midfield this weekend.

Hermansen, make sure to set yourself whenever he picks up possession within 25 yards of goal. And Tomas Soucek, Soungoutou Magassa, Mateus Fernandes, whoever features in front of the backline, for heaven’s sake do not let him drift off the shoulder into shooting positions.

He is not only an expert poacher in the making, a la Haaland. Kroupi’s eight goals have come from an XG of just over four.